Many of us out there often confuse the feeling of being alone and the feeling of being lonely. If you are reading this and asking yourself "well what is the difference?" - keep reading.
For one to feel alone and feel comfortable with this feeling one needs to be comfortable with their own self, comfortable with being alone, and not needing anyone else to make their life better. One needs to realise that they are a good company and appreciate themselves and therefore, know their value and worth. Being alone is nothing to be ashamed of or scared of, though many of us out there are in fear of facing our own thoughts alone. One can be in a healthy relationship and still have days when they feel like they need their alone time e.g. read a book in a coffeeshop, take a spa day or simply go on a hike and reconnect with oneself. Being alone does not necessarily mean that one is upset or tired or has a sense of longing, or missing someone.
Feeling lonely is a feeling that can be felt when we are single or in a relationship. When you are in relationship and you still feel lonely, re-think your relationship. How is this possible, you may ask. Well, think about it: does your partner listen to your stories? does he/she care about how your day went? are they considering your feelings when making an important couple's decision?
I have been in a relationship before, where I felt the loneliness at nights though I was not spending the night alone. And there were times when I felt more as a whole and happy, when I was completely alone.
So what to do and how to deal with lingering feeling of loneliness?
If you are in a relationship and feeling lonely - hit pause. Take a day off and spend sometime on your own. Try to think about where you are in a relationship and go back to the roots of why this feeling came upon you in the first place. The next thing would be to talk to your person about this and see how the conversation goes. Whatever happens next is entirely up to you.
If you are single and you are feeling lonely, well, that's a very common issue. Just remember not to settle for someone you do not love, just because you feel like you want someone to be part of your life to kill the lonely nights. Do not dive into something just for the sake of it. Trust me it will hurt more in the long run when you settle for something just because you fear that this feeling of loneliness will never go away.
Trust me when you find your soulmate, you will feel it. You will see it in their eyes, you will have similar ideas and tastes and you will never feel bored together. You will never have to doubt how they feel about you. Most importantly, you will feel that they are willing to fight for you and they accept you for who you are and for them you are perfect just the way you are.
Do not feel tempted or rushed or pressured by the society to be with someone. Do not let that feeling of loneliness overcome you. Remember sometimes being alone is better than being with someone who simply does not care about you and makes you feel lonely.