Today, I'd like us to talk about personal insecurities, where they are coming from and how to deal with them. Most of us almost certainly will have something to be insecure about: for some of us it is our looks, for other it may be because of employment instability and financial status, and the list can go on. So, how do we become insecure or start lacking confidence?
Let's go back in time, specifically, to your childhood. Ones childhood is the most important stage in your lifetime. A study has proven that the person is shaped and formed in the first two years of their lifetime. If a baby is surrounded by love and care, they grow up happier and better people than someone who has witnessed abuse since age 0. The way your parents treat you is also important: do they compliment you on your achievements, do they inspire confidence and encourage you to chase your dreams or do they simply shut down anything that you may propose or suggest. These little details add on to your personality and may make you more insecure. High School: a place where we learn more about life than we do history. A lot of students are subject to being bullied and sadly some are bullies and it is a big question which is more insecure.
Why do people bully? The answer is simple. These people suffer from insecurity, problems at home in their families and are looking for a way to express their energy and negativity and as a consequence the innocent suffer. Is it fair? No. Can it be avoided? Yes. There is a lot of responsibility on parents' shoulders and sometimes we do not realise that every single thing that we do reflects on our kids.
Moreover, insecurity promotes self doubt and the feeling that you are never good enough. Not good enough to be considered for a job, not good enough to be with someone in a relationship, not good enough sibling and this list can go on. The feeling of self-doubt is one of our worst enemies, just like fear. Why do we let fear and lack of confidence take away from us something that could be so great for us?
So, how do you deal with this? Here are a few ideas you may want to consider.
Sports: I am not saying you should train to become a professional athlete but exercise in some shape or form will help you get your mind cleared from your worries and let the negativity out. I recently decided that it was finally time that I took up my own advice and now I am feeling more relaxed and not worrying over little details which can cause insecurities.
Talk: This is simple and straightforward: if something is bothering you talk it out. Talk to a friend whom you can trust your deepest secrets and tell them what is going on.
Write down what worries you and how you can approach the problem. For example, you are worried about your looks. Write down what worries you or what is it that makes you insecure and then follow that up with a sentence like "I am beautiful and what makes me different makes me unique" - inspire confidence in yourself.
You may also want to try this. Every morning when you wake up stand up in front of the mirror and repeat (whatever is appropriate to your situation):
- I am beautiful
- I am worthy
- I am happy
- I am good enough
You may include in your routine to also state things that you would like to happen to you in your life or that you wish for. However, in order for these things to happen you cannot use words like "wish" "don't" "can't" "will", etc. You have to state everything in the present:
- I am employed by (insert company of your choice)
- I am buying a house
But most importantly ensure that you repeat to yourself that you LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE and remember that you do not have to prove anything to anyone.
As someone who has an endless list of insecurities, trust me, I know what I am talking about.