Today, let's talk about letting go of expectations and lifting off pressure of yourself. The expectations that we have of ourselves and of the others are built up over the years; they come from our culture, family values and upbringing, as well as from our own experiences. We often put up walls and stress out because we want to perform and to exceed expectations, but what we often forget is that sometimes good enough is good enough. Except it is not for the case for overachievers.
The feeling of constantly being under pressure and that continuous self-doubt is often intensified by the circumstances: a colleague at work discredited your work or a friend that has put you down, a family member that did not see how far you came from when you were younger. Yet this remains a feeling that is internal and perhaps sometimes overly exaggerated, as the people around us may not have the same expectations or thinking at all. In fact most of the times, people around us do not have any expectations at all.
Having high expectations is what creates unhappiness, because when we realise that our expectations are not met than there is a void that cannot be filled and that makes us upset. As someone who has high expectations of myself, I can tell you for a fact that the drawback is that you have the same high expectations of the others and often end up being disappointed when the others do not follow through.
The walls that build up around us and the stress that mounts up around it can be hurtful not only in the workplace environment but also in the personal life. Let's say you met someone and you have spent a few days together and all of a sudden the communication slows down, you start stressing because there is a new level of uncertainty but is it because the person is not replying or because you feel like you are letting yourself down by not being able to build a new relationship after one week? Or maybe you have asked for help from your colleague and they are busy or do not have the time or simply told you that it is not part of their job description - all of which are valid instances - but for you it means like the world has ended because you would never let yourself let your colleague down. See how quickly we have build the void between the expectation and the reality?
So how do you deal with letting go of expectations and lifting pressure?